Perusing the various Bleacher Report entries on the Boston Celtics, a reader may well find there are merely five ways to improve the team for next year.
In some cases there are 10 ways to improve the team, or in the best cases there are but three ways to improve the Celtics for next season, according to the optimists.
How many times can you repeat the list to convince yourself the Boston Celtics will actually play games this fall, optimists?
Let's delete the lockout-induced coma from the NBA's website, optimistic fans.
We thought the season was in jeopardy, and guess what, optimists? The team can take no action on player personnel during the lockout. You can count the three reasons, or five reasons—or was that 10 reasons? In fact, there is only one reason: Lockout means the Celtics are prevented from taking any actions.
So, for all those with suggestions on how to improve the Celtics, the drop box has been dropped into the Atlantic Division ocean with a message: “Don’t call us. We’ll call you.”
Actors at a cattle call have been treated better than the NBA treats optimistic bloggers. Of course, the NBA has taken a page from Alfred Hitchcock’s philosophy. He notably said actors should be treated like cattle. Then, he went out and made a movie called "The Birds."
The NBA has also engaged in tweeting for the bird brains. Don’t go to its website unless you are prepared to read a litany of ways why the season will be cancelled, Celtics optimists.
We have also found a virulent case of ageism against the crème of our society, the golden agers formerly of the NBA. We refer to Paul Pierce, Ray Allen, and Kevin Garnett, whose names are so often taken in vain. Worse yet, the pessimistic bile has metastasized.
How many times have we read it? If you add up the ages of the Big Three, it’s just more than a century.
The dead horse is being whipped again and again by those pesky pessimists.
Yes, we get it, Celtics pessimists. The ancient Celtics are older than a red dwarf star.
Yes, they may be on the verge of leaving the players’ union to join AARP, but whatever happened to respect for elders?
A bunch of wet-nosed and pessimistic bloggers keeps insulting the Celtic Big Three. These masters of basketball remain in better shape in their mid-30s than most writers will ever be, or are we being pessimistic?
Only in Boston can fans learn that loyalty and appreciation ends on a birthday soon after age 30. We thought that mentality peaked in the 1960s. Then again, the youth movement of hippies only ended when they turned into their grandparents.
Yes, folks, Larry Bird may walk through that door again, but chances are he will be older and wiser.
All this goes to show that Celtics optimistic bloggers seem oblivious to the fact that there may not be any basketball in the upcoming season.
Of course, they can write about how well they played one-on-one against old Uncle Fred under the garage net, and surely they will discover five ways they need to improve to beat the old coot.
We will likely read about it here on Bleacher Report in the fall when pro basketball stories evaporate.
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Source: http://bleacherreport.com/articles/759996-boston-celtics-fans-eternal-optimists-or-dire-pessimists
Jason Kidd Allen Iverson Paul Pierce Eric Gordon Dwight Howard
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